Paige is Parenting

“Why care?” Dealing with volunteering burnout

“Why do you do it if it brings you this much stress? It doesn’t seem like you enjoy it very much.”- A very valid question asked by my husband last night.

Last night I went on a bit of a venting spree to my husband about the state of the volunteer organization that I’m a part of. Specifically, how uninterested so many of our members have become and how hard it is to get people to sign up for events to help out in the community.

This is the third month in a row that I’ve organized a day to prepare a meal for women living in emergency shelters. And it is the second time in three months that we haven’t been able to fill the measly five spots required for volunteers.

I was complaining to my husband that nobody seems to care anymore. That people say they are excited to give back to the community, but when it’s time to show up, its just a few who are left to do double or triple the work when no one else shows up.

To be honest, I’m exhausted. And six months pregnant. And dealing with a number of other things in life that have been requiring a lot of my attention lately.

And to continue being honest, let’s be real: sometimes caring is exhausting.

But I’m starting to think that maybe it’s the way I care that’s the most draining. Maybe I care too much about the outcome. Or maybe I’m letting my passion for a cause cloud over the fact that my time and energy for said cause aren’t as robust as they were last season.

When my husband asked me why I’m still doing it when it doesn’t seem to be bringing me joy, it made me realize that he’s right. Well, partially (sorry, honey).

Helping out in my community brings me immense joy. But helping out at the same intensity that I was last year isn’t anymore. And there is the disconnect.

So I’m going to take some time and figure out how I want to use my free time in the season I’m in right now. More family time before the baby gets here is high on my list. As is editing my novel and setting up things at my job before I go on maternity leave.

I want volunteering to still be a part of my life in the coming months, but I want to do it the way I began doing it, and that is with an open heart.

Have you ever dealt with feelings of burnout as a volunteer? How did you handle it?

My toddler’s speech progress

I am writing this post with a happy heart. With speech sessions occurring 1-2 times a week, and lots of practice and repetition at home, Jameson’s speech is really blossoming.

Two months ago I had Jameson evaluated by the Birth to 3 services that CT offers. I had noticed that ever since his ear infections became chronic his speech development had almost completely stalled.

At two years old he was only saying about 30 words, but used babbling and pointing as his main form of communication.

Everyone around me was telling me to give him time. I lost count of how many people told me anecdotes of kids they knew who never spoke a word until 3 or 4, etc. Their intention was to make me feel better of course, but as a special educator who frequently worked with kids well out of toddlerhood who were nonverbal, my heart was still worried.

What if he never caught up with his peers? How would limited language affect his behavior? His emotions? His ability to learn and to be understood?

I spoke to a friend of mine who is an Occupational Therapist and doing that gave me the nudge I needed to make the call and get him evaluated. She assured me that the only negative that would come from an evaluation was a wasted hour if they decided his development was fine. And wouldn’t the peace of mind offered by the results be worth it in the end?

It was.

The evaluators came to our home and assessed Jameson’s skills through that play, observation, and a parent/caregiver questionnaire.

At the end of the assessment I was able to hear the results immediately. It was as I suspected: my sweet boy had a mild speech delay that was also effecting his ability to understand (receptive language).

The morning of his surgery to get tubes put in and adenoids removed. All went well, thankfully!

Cut to two months and a surgery to get ear tubes put in, adenoids removed, and countless speech sessions later. I’m so happy that I went with my gut and got to the bottom of Jameson’s speech delay.

Yesterday he said I love you for the first time.

He now says small phrases like we’re here and where’d they go on a daily basis.

He’s able to ask for help and name items he wants when given a choice of two.

Yes, my heart is singing today because I’m so happy for my little boy.

1,000 hour outside: progress update

Since January 1st, we have been on a mission to get to at least 500 hours of outside time by the end of this year. Sitting here at the tail-end of July, I am happy that 500 hours was our goal rather than the full 1,000.

Walking to the farmers market and getting some fresh blueberries to snack on. 30 minutes earned!

We finally cracked 100 hours at the beginning of this month. My husband laughed when I told him that and he said, that’s it? But I was and am very proud of the 109 hours Jameson has gotten so far this year.

I know it might not seem like a lot compared to the grand 1,000 hours goal, but I know we aren’t nearly done yet. This goal has really changed the way I plan our days now and I truly feel like Jameson has been benefitting from the time spent outdoors.

Having our meals outside. Another way we’ve been getting some more fresh air in.

We had a rough start to the challenge with pretty brutal winter temps and a fairly rainy spring. I know that doesn’t deter some families from heading into the great outdoors, but I’m just not there yet. Especially because Jameson’s speech is still developing and he isn’t able to tell me when he’s too cold or uncomfortable yet.

I’m pretty confident we will meet our mini goal of 500 hours outside this year, and I’ll be happy for that. And I think next year could be the year we tackle getting 1,000 hours outside, as we are working on building a house in upstate New York on 3.5 acres. What better motivation to step outside than having the space to run around and play in the grass?

Also, this mama can’t wait to have a nice cup of coffee on our own front porch.

Experimenting with cause and effect

Today was a morning for the books.

It started out smooth, like a well-oiled machine. I preheated the oven, made and ate my own breakfast, and looked up a healthy smoothie recipe to whip up. I even got myself dressed and unloaded the dishwasher. Yes, today was going to be one of those scenes of domestic bliss that you only see in an Instagram ad.

Then my toddler woke up.

He got his diaper changed without a fuss and I brought him over to the couch where we could do our morning routine of snuggles, milk, and a little tv. Except he didn’t want to watch the show I put on. Or the second one. Or the third.

Finally, after an exasperated sigh from me that I wasn’t going to find a fifth show for him if this one didn’t work out, he settled on an episode of Winnie the Pooh.

After a few minutes, breakfast was ready and I knew that it would be a homerun. After all it was basically a plate of his favorite things: toasted English muffins with butter, turkey sausage, fresh blueberries and banana.

He ate half a sausage patty and then looked at me. “Is that all you got?” his eyes seemed to ask.

Not to worry! I still had the delicious chocolate, peanut butter, and banana smoothie up my sleeve!

Jameson oohed and ahhed as he watched the blender whir, mixing up all of the ingredients. I picked up his special mint colored cup with a little duckie on it (lidless, a big boy cup but miniature) and poured the smoothie in.

He ran to his seat with it and drank it down. So I poured him some more. He drank about half and then looked up at me with those big, brown eyes of his and asked for more.

He hadn’t finished the cup yet, but I was happy he liked it, so more he got.

Then I watched as he promptly flipped the cup upside down. Cold chocolate sludge poured over the edge of his little table and onto his bare legs.

He was shocked. He was cold. He was thoroughly pissed off.

He began to cry big, heaving sobs as he couldn’t believe what happened to his new favorite drink. Reminding him that he, in fact, had just been the one who dumped out said drink did nothing to soothe his heartache.

Did he want more of mama’s smoothie from her cup? No and how dare I ask him that.

So there I was: sopping up chocolate goop from the table and floor, holding a crying toddler.

It was no longer and Instagram worthy moment. It had now turned into a 90’s television ad for a roll of Bounty paper towels.

A quick add on: it seems that Jameson is squarely in the phase of experimenting with cause and effect. Just the other day he was home with D and poured a cup of water on his head. And not five minutes after that, fished a can of diet coke out of the bin and dumped the remnants of that on his head as well. He was just as shocked and upset the first time as he was the second. Ah, toddlers.

Playing our way to 1,000 hours outside

The weather is finally warming up here in Southern Connecticut and we are loving it!

To be honest, the beginning of 2022 hasn’t held a lot of outdoors time for us, with the temperatures falling so low. I know that some people don’t mind freezing temps, but I get too nervous to risk it, since my son can’t really speak yet.

One of our favorite places to go has been our local botanical garden. It’s been a great way to immerse ourselves in nature and gives Jameson plenty of opportunity to explore and climb.

Why use the steps when you can scale the rocks?

We’ve also had fun visiting our local nature center, which has an awesome outdoor playground.

The playground is built into the side of a tall hill, which makes it seem like a part of the landscape. It’s beautiful to look at and lots of fun for kids!

I’m going back and forth about actually committing to a membership to the nature center though. It’s fun, but we already have so many memberships to other places in the area. But maybe a few more trips will convince me!

We’ve also spent a lot of time at our local playground. Simple, fun and always a good time!

Is it warming up where you are, or are you lucky enough to live in a place with year-round warm weather?

A getaway for mom and dad

For the first time in the history of parenthood for D and I, we took a vacation without the baby last week. It was fun, relaxing, and of course a bit anxiety provoking, not being with the baby for seven days.

But I will say that I feel way more refreshed as a parent and as a partner.

COSTA RICAN ADVENTURE

We started the week in Playa Coyote in the Guanacaste Region. We visited on the tail-end of the (very) dry season, and so were blessed with some rainy nights that helped cool down the land.

We got to eat a ton of fresh, local seafood and relax at the beach.

For this leg of the trip we stayed at an Airbnb home. This allowed us to go food shopping among the locals and save money by preparing some of our meals ourselves. Okay, by D preparing the meals…he is the chef in the family. But I did pour us some coffee now and then! lol

One of the delicious breakfasts prepared by D on our vacation

UP IN THE CLOUDS

To end our trip, we drove up to the cloud forest in Monteverde. I figured that was just a cutesy name, having done absolutely zero research on this area before we arrived (we added it to our itinerary as a last-minute decision during our trip). Well, I was wrong! It turns out, we were up so high that there were driving through ACTUAL CLOUDS! It was amazing and an unforgettable sight.

We spent the last two nights of our trip at El Silencio, which is a beautiful resort located in these mountains and surrounded by nature that looks as if it came straight out of a postcard.

View from El Silencio restaurant’s outdoor seating

Our drive to the resort took us (literally) up in the clouds

We got to go rapelling down a small waterfall, ziplining over the jungle canopy, and hiking to local waterfalls.

This hike was insane, but the views were worth it

Oh, and a spa. And a hummingbird garden. And more delicious food.

Guys, it was seriously such an amazing time. I highly recommend a mom and dad solo vacation to care for your self and your relationship.

I will admit that our trip was not the cheapest getaway and might not be right for everyone’s budget. But I think that even a mini staycation could be just what the doctor ordered for any couples out there feeling burnt out.

What I read to my toddler this week: March 25th

Brown Bear, Brown Bear

Jameson is mildly obsessed with this book at the moment, as his teachers have also been reading it in daycare. I think it’s safe to say this book has been the favorite of the week (and month)!

The Very Hungry Caterpillar

Yes, we are on an Eric Carle kick this week. This is one of my favorite’s to read to Jameson. Every time we get to the part where the caterpillar becomes the butterfly, he goes “woah!” It is the cutest thing ever.

A Visit to the Fire Station

Jameson loves fire trucks and dogs, so this book was able to hold his interest pretty well.

I Love You to the Moon and Back

A very cute book. I think I liked it more than he did, but it will still stay in our rotation!

I am thankful for today

With so much going on in the world right now, it’s been challenging to not feel overwhelmed.

There are so many things in our daily life that we have control over, but whether or not our countries are dragged into war isn’t one of them.

I feel heartbroken for the people of Ukraine who are suffering and dying, and the Russian people who are against this war. I feel really afraid about the United States possibly becoming a part of it as well.

All of this has made me realize how unprepared my family is in the worst case scenario of an emergency, and I’m working on changing that. Even if we don’t go to war (which I’m hoping we don’t), what if there was a natural disaster here?

I’ve just never given emergency preparedness any amount of serious thought before. This week has been a wakeup call to that.

How many Ukrainian mothers had to flee with their babies and wonder where their next meal would come from? It chokes me up just thinking about it.

When you become a mother, your heart breaks for every mother in the world who suffers and worries for their children.

It is so easy to feel terrified and overwhelmed by thinking of the worst-case scenario. So I am choosing not to do that today. I am choosing to be present. I am choosing to not let the fear show on my face or in my voice as I care for my son.

Today I am choosing to be thankful for the roof over our heads.

Today I am choosing to be thankful for the food in our fridge and the gas in our cars.

Today I am thankful that our streets our peaceful and my family is safe.

I am thankful for today and for this life.

Peace and Love, Paige

Playful Practice: learning how to pour and drink from a cup

This weekend wasn’t very eventful (hence no weekend roundup). Jameson had a slight fever and runny nose, so we chose to stay indoors and do laidback family things instead.

After watching my toddler run around and spin in circles like a tiny, adorable tornado, I thought it might be good to pull out a calm activity before lunchtime.

So I set up a large towel and Jameson’s plastic highchair tray cover on the kitchen floor. Then I got out some cups and filled them each about 1/4 of the way with water.

Already a master of eating peas out of a cup. Could drinking water be next?

Drinking from an unlidded cup was a skill I had tried to teach Jameson when he was much younger, simply by giving him a teeny cup with a bit of water at dinner time.

Each time he would pour the water into his cup and laugh. After the eight or ninth refill, my husband gently suggested that maybe dinnertime wasn’t the time to have our son giving himself a makeshift bath.

So I put the big boy cup away and caved into the widely accepted toddler sippy cup.

But I’ve always felt that Jameson was capable of drinking from a regular cup, if given enough chances to figure it out.

So I am on a mission to use our weekends to figure it out. And also, have some fun.

So far, J is still dumping all of the water out into his lap and then taking a sip from the cup. Which is super adorable but not practical. It’s fun to watch his eyes scrunch up as he wonders where he went wrong.

He actually wiped up some of his spills with the paper towel!

I’ve been doing my best to model how I hold the cup and take a sip, without saying what I’m doing (the Montessori way). I’m excited for the day that he will figure out that he has to bring the cup to his lips without flipping the cup over first.

I must say though, he’s really getting there with his pouring! He got a couple of splashes of water from one cup into the other during our practice time!

When did your child learn to pour and start drinking from unlidded cups?

Or are you working on that now?

The oddball pickiness of a toddler at mealtime

My toddler is a fairly adventurous eater. This is partially because D and I eat a varied diet and have been giving him the same meals as we eat, since he was old enough to eat them. It’s also because our son doesn’t seem to have any sensory issues with food textures.

Always partial to the almond croissants, of course

Being a special education teacher, I’m well aware that some kids can have serious sensory aversions that have nothing to do with whether or not you did “baby-led weaning” with them (no matter what the hardcore weaners will tell you).

But luckily, Jameson seems to tolerate all kinds of textures pretty well.

So yes, my son is a good eater, but he’s also a toddler. Meaning he is starting to assert his independence around at the dinner table (and the lunch table, and the breakfast table…).

When I say that, I don’t mean he’s throwing massive tantrums and flinging peas on the wall every day. Although, he’s done each of those things at some point or another, being a tot and all.

What he’s been doing lately is some kind of “choose one” toddler ritual where he will pick one food on his plate and eat only that food.

“Chicken and potatoes? Sorry, but I’ve decided that only peas are worthy of my palette today!”

“Nice try with the bacon, egg and cheese, mom. But I’m only eating oatmeal today, k?”- my toddler, probably

Also, I’ve had to hide the fruit bowl from view during dinner.

Yes, really.

If he catches a glimpse of a banana or a cherry tomato it is game over. He will immediately decide that what we have served him is straight-up trash and only seventeen bananas will do.

Jameson was on cloud nine at the apple orchard this past fall

Looking around online, it seems like this is a normal part of the toddler stage, and that it should pass eventually.

For now, I’ll be doing my best to not make a big fuss about him only eating parts of his meals…and hiding the fruit bowl like a crazy woman at dinner.

Has your toddler went through any picky eating stages that made you scratch your head or laugh? I’d love to hear about it!