Ooohhh we’re halfway thereee! OOOHHH 20 weeks is hereeee!
Okay, I promise that’s it for the Bon Jovi portion of this post.
But yes, the bump and I have reached the 20 week mark. Meaning we are more or less halfway to doing our first high five with each other (I don’t know why, but whenever I picture the birthing process I always see myself high fiving the baby in a “we did it” gesture. Yes, I’m aware this is weird. No, I haven’t shared this image with my boyfriend yet haha).
According to my What to Expect App, my little chicken noodle is actually around the size of a sweet potato or banana, at 6.5 inches. And they weigh about 10 oz at this point.
Image: Shutterstock
One of the exciting aspects of being this far along is finally being able to find out the gender of our baby! We go for the anatomy scan next week, on Valentine’sDay. To be honest, finding out if we’re having a boy or a girl on one of my favorite holidays makes it worth having had to wait what felt like an eternity.
We’ll be having a small gender reveal with our close family that Sunday over brunch. I promise to share some pictures and the gender of our little one some time after that!
At almost 20 weeks pregnant (tomorrow! Yay!) there are so many things that I’m enjoying about this time.
…then there’s my buddy Braxton Hicks.
These “practice contractions” scared the living daylights out of me a few weeks back. My stomach was hardening and cramping on and off all day, then the next, and the next.
Finally I called my OB, who called me in for an ultrasound to check my cervix and the baby. Both were thankfully fine and it was here that I learned exactly what Braxton Hicks contractions. Basically, they are false labor pains that in no way indicate actual labor. More like your body doing some practicing for “the big show.”
Waiting on my OB. Snacking on a chocolate bar.
Although there’s no harm in these false labor pains, my doctor still gave me some tips for how to prevent and/or ease them.
1. Stay hydrated. This is something that I’ve been really trying to keep on top of since talking with my OB. Dehydration can bring on Braxton Hicks, so I now make sure to always have a water bottle with me on hand. I’ve also been trying to drink at least 8 oz of water every morning when I wake up.
2. Listen to your body. My doctor isn’t a fan of prescribing bed rest and is realistic about the fact that most people can’t afford to stop working halfway into their pregnancy. But she did advise me to pay attention to the cues my body is sending me. If the cramps come on when I’m walking or lifting, pause and relax for a moment. If it’s a certain position while I’m sitting or laying down, either change positions or stand up for a bit to see if they ease up.
Since seeing my doctor, I’ve gotten used to the fact that most days I’ll feel these weird contraction/cramp feelings at least once, but they don’t freak me out nearly as much. I now know that as they aren’t anything to worry about (as long as they don’t occur consistently, they don’t get closer together in some sort of pattern, and there’s no bleeding).
So, thankfully, although my buddy Braxton Hicks is annoying, it isn’t actually harmful to the baby or me.
Pregnancy. What a weird, beautiful roller coaster ride, am I right??
Highlights: feeling the baby move, strangers starting to notice the bump, going on a Baby Moon with D
Lowlights: no more sleeping on my back, back pain (ouch!), peeing when I sneeze sometimes (what the WHAT?!)
Overall feeling: starting to “feel pregnant” way more often thanks to my bump and the little chicken nugget rolling around in there. It’s a fun/weird feeling!
Work and life have felt like a bit of a whirlwind lately. I’ve taken on freelance writing jobs through Upwork to hopefully keep some form of income rolling during my unpaid maternity leave. That, on top of nonprofit work, leaves me feeling ready for a nap most days (but too busy to take one).
I know all of this work and planning will pay off once baby is here though, so I won’t complain too much. And also, lots of (non-financial) aspects of baby planning have been really fun.
Like picking out a nursery theme! We’ve decided on Winnie the Pooh because D and I both loved the cartoons as kids. Also, it’s gender neutral, which is perfect since we won’t find out the sex until later this month.
We’ll be staying in our 1 bedroom apartment until the baby is about 6 months, so for now the theme will mostly be seen in the baby’s crib and toy selection. But we’re being clever with the space we have to make it work. I’ve even converted our old book case into a baby closet. The wallpaper is supposed to be a stylish version of 100 Acre Woods from Winnie the Pooh (I tried to find something whimsical yet still appropriate in an adult’s bedroom).
(Don’t mind the old mattress and wrapping papers! This whole room is a work-in-progress right now for baby and we just bought a new bed.)
I’ll share more pictures of our nursery nook progress as we go! I think once it’s all finished it’s going to look really nice and cozy for baby.
Well, that’s it for my week 19 update. Next week will be the halfway mark to meeting our sweet baby and on the 14th (Valentines Day!) we finally find out the gender. Can’t wait!
“Every family needs a professional portrait for the holidays. Don’t you want your kids to be able to look back on these moments one day?”- a momsplainer out there somewhere, probably (stock photo from pixabay)
Quick Aside: Until I did a quick google search, I actually thought I made up the term “momsplaining” yesterday (and gave myself an I’m-so-clever internal pat on the back). It turns out, as the many Urban Dictionary entries and a podcast by Kristen Bell has revealed…I very much did not invent the term momsplaining. *awkwardly crumples up application to copyright the term and make fun t-shirts…*
But anyway…Momsplaining. What is it? According to Urban Dictionary, it is “[t]he use of words and tone that occurs by mothers. The audience is not limited to children, but can also be used with childless friends. Usually condescending in tone.” According to Paige Fitzgerald (me), it is a thing that many well-meaning family, friends, and women at the nail salon like to do to pregnant moms that has been driving me absolutely bananas this month.
Some examples of momsplaining that I’ve heard so far during my pregnancy:
“You don’t want to breastfeed longer than 3 weeks or you will ruin your breasts forever.”– said to me after I stated that I might want to breastfeed for at least 3 months.
“Whatever you do, DON’T be that person with a ‘birth plan.’ I didn’t go in with a plan and it was so stress-free. Also, please don’t be one of those people that does a water birth. Like, come on.”– completely random lady at the nail salon(!!) after overhearing that I’m expecting my first child. A big WTF to this one!
“You don’t plan on staying home with your baby the first year? I would never leave my baby in a daycare.” – said to me after I mentioned that I was already looking at local daycare centers for once I go back to work.
I’ve found that, depending on the comment, I handle certain types of momsplaining differently. For the most part, I politely nod my head and give a vague”ahh okay…interesting,” while making a mental note to disregard the advice as soon as the conversation is over. Like with the breastfeeding and the birth plan. And especially with the water birth! I kind of like the idea of a water birth. If that makes some people think I’m a little hippy-dippy, oh well!
When the comments are borderline insulting, I try and speak up in a way that doesn’t make me feel like I’m a kid defending themselves to a grownup. Because for me that is exactly how a dose of momsplaining can make me feel, and it’s a sucky feeling. For example, with the daycare comment. I politely (if a little coldly) said that if it was within our budget for me to stay home a whole year maybe I would, but it’s not, so I’ll be choosing the best care we can find and afford. Ugh.
I want to end this post by saying that not every mom who has given me advice has come off as a momsplainer. In fact, when I first shared our pregnancy news on my social media, I was overwhelmed with the number of caring women who reached out to me to offer support throughout this pregnancy/parenting journey. Many of them even mentioned the oncoming barrage of advice I would most likely get, and that they also received, and to go with my gut at the end of the day.
I also know that, for the most part, the women who have momsplained to me did so with kind intentions. They genuinely want to share their experiences of pregnancy and parenting to make the road a little easier for those just starting. I think it’s just the absolutism of some kinds of advice that give it the feeling of condescension.
Throughout my pregnancy and parenting journey, I hope I can continue to be kind to the women who are sharing their experiences with me, while still being true to the kind of mom (and person) I want to be. I also hope to keep the feelings of being momsplained to in my mind when I one day inevitably try and offer some advice to a new mom. Now if you’ll excuse me. I’m off to go stare at my breasts in a mirror for the next hour, so I can remember them as they were before my baby ruins them forever…kidding 😉
This is an exciting, strange time in my life and I want to remember as many of the moments within it as I can. I’m choosing to make this a public blog rather than a private journal because I like the idea of getting to connect with others and share experiences. And maybe along the way giving other future mamas-to-be the reassurance that they aren’t alone in their feelings, circumstances, or weird late night pregnancy questions googling.
Waiting on my OB. Snacking on a chocolate bar.
(Don’t mind the old mattress and wrapping papers! This whole room is a work-in-progress right now for baby and we just bought a new bed.)
Paige is Parenting 